#the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb

[lisztomaniac-mp3]

i have always wanted to have kids, there's not a moment in my life where i thought i wasn't eventually going to have kids. for reference, i'm 15, so my mind is bound to change, although i've thought about it a surprising amount and i don't think my overall plans are going to change. my family doesn't actually care wether or not i plan to have kids, but whenever i mention the fact i want to adopt there are only 1 of 2 reactions:

"that's so nice? :)"

"are you sure?.."

the first reaction usually comes from a place of "that's a complicated process that takes a lot of time and effort" as if it would take more effort to get pregnant and be pregnant for 9 months and then give birth- they have nothing against adoption or fostering, they just see it as something that takes more effort than giving birth would (for some reason?)

the second reaction is the worst one, and they usually back it up with the "its a lot of effort" excuse, and then start implying or straight up spewing bullshit about how they wouldn't be my real children. i'm adopted by my grandparents, so it's a useless argument to say I'm adopted in this circumstance, but i usually bring up step-family and they stfu. blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

this might seem a bit unrelated to the thread but let me say that both of those conversations end with: "well, you're young, you'll probably change your mind."

alr well i havent changed my mind since i gained ability to think about my adulthood, and i plan on updating this when i'm 28 and adopting a kid.

TLDR:

yes, mom, it is a phase. impermanence is the basis of life. but I can promise you that some phases last a very long time.

stop telling your teenage daughters who say they don't want kids that they'll change their mind

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

BLOOD RUNS THICKER THAN WATER BLOOD RUNS THICKER THAN WATER BLOOD RUNS THICKER THAN WATER BUT BOTH FEEL THE SAME WHEN YOU'RE EYES ARE CLOSED I AM THE RIVER'S DAUGHTER I AM THE RIVER'S DAUGHTER I AM THE RIVER'S DAUGHTER AND YOU'LL BE HER SON WHEN WE'RE BOTH REPOSED

[brionysea]

they put max in mike's colour for the episode where she gets targeted by the trauma monster. max why are you in blue. why does trauma + monster = blue and blue = mike so mike = trauma + monster. even her hair looks less bright because she's depressed and both the monster and the trauma have her in their sights (max's colour is equal parts "orange" and "rainbow" To Me)

the blue (mike's colour!!!) took over max's character (like how el is pink but the blue takes over her when she's in a state of mutually assured destruction with mike) and then max dies in the bluest attic ever and ends up comatose in the bluest hospital room known to man. thinking yet again of mike vs max and el's feminism. she's her own person who's fully capable of making her own decisions so PLEASE STOP DROWNING HER IN THE BLUE, MIKE!

also the blue attic is disrupted by the red gate. between that, the roses, the spooky fog, and the mind palace, vecna is red. blue + red makes me think of blood in the water which draws sharks (the imagery used for barb's death + by nancy realising the demogorgon is drawn by blood), BUT with this imagery MIKE is the unfathomably expansive ocean and vecna is the piddly little drop of blood. the sea was calm until vecna summoned the sharks? also the possessed mike agenda of blood being IN the water

[canichangemyblogname]

Watching the Netflix-made documentary on Alexander the Great and the actor playing Alexander’s father in the supplemental visual story telling of the archaeology was scripted to shake hands with Alexander and ask him for forgiveness because “blood is thicker than water.” << Those words exactly.

I immediately paused the show and walked into the other room to stand there like this:

[angelofthemornings]

me: no don't stop traffic to let me out just keep everything at an even flow I'll be okay I promise

me, after being let out, going 15 mph over the speed limit: I drive fast for you brother

[readingcircletemple]

Editing Thoughts:

As we reach the end of the Circle of Magic series, magic starts to get weird, y'all. I know a lot of people struggle with things that happen that are not previously established, but I never had an issue with them. Yes, this is my series. I grew up with these books, so CoM is kind of my baseline for magic anyway. But I'm going to pitch one more possible explanation fror why I think it works:

I ran across this video by Timothy Hickson a while back, in which he explains how soft magic systems work really well to emphasize the emotional beats of a story. (This, incidentally, helped me understand why I like soft magic systems so much.) This works particularly well in CoM because we see in the first couple of books how emotional states can have an influence on magic--namely, when Tris is angry, she sparks. And she must learn to control her anger.

So at the end of Shatterglass, when Tris basically opens a hole in the ground? This is again, an echo of her anger. And at the end of the Will of the Empress, Tris's ability to be with the other three "physically" while still being so far away is the CoM version of the family member leaving and saying, "I'll always be with you in here (points to heart)."

The thread circle is a symbol of the childhood bond these four form. Then they part from one another, grow, change, and return. For many of us, childhood friendships fall apart as we grow older. We leave friends and that's that. And throughout the book, they struggle with whether or not their frienship has ended--if it was just a childhood thing. And in a way it was, and in a way, it wasn't. By the end of the story, they reform their friendship anew--it is no longer a childhood bond, but an adult one, which comes with all the complexities of adulthood. So the thread circle--the symbol of their childhood friendship--disappears as they form a newer, deeper, stronger bond. And the circle goes deeper--literally moving into their hands--and leaving them with a scar, just as friendships can both open and heal wounds. And yes, it's something new and unexpected, that can't easily be explained. But isn't that so much of what life (and friendship) is?

But I would be wrong. Let us know what you think in the comments.

[reccord-raccoon]

Fire Emblem Siblings week 2023 day 2: fears/books

the Fraldarius siblings protect one of the Gautier siblings from the other

drabble under the cut

Felix ran a hand over the weathered leather of the old diary. His husband's, from long before the thought of marriage crossed either of their minds.

The pages in Felix's hands held all of what was left of the true nature of his brother. Of Both their brothers. No one else close enough to know them had kept a diary as faithfully as Sylvain had.

"Speak of the devil," Felix whispered when he heard the door open behind him.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" Sylvain's voice sounded cheerful, but Felix had known him for much too long to truly believe he was.

He didn't answer. Instead he let his husband brush aside midnight hair and rest his chin on his shoulder.

Sylvain hummed, "That old thing? What about it caught your attention, love?"

Felix opened it to the page his thumb hand been saving and let their eyes scan it before speaking.

"...the well…"

"I remember this," he whispered.

"…Glenn and Felix saved me���"

He felt Sylvain shrug. "Kinda hard to forget. My brother was a pretty big dick."

"…I'm still pretty cold, but Glenn let me borrow some of his clothes while mine dry off…"

"That was the day Glenn and I realized just how bad Miklan actually was. Glenn vowed to stop him however he could. I vowed to protect you."

Sylvain stilled. Too afraid of his emotions breaking through to dare to move.

"I remember how I felt that day," Felix continued, "but I don't think I ever…"

knew how you felt.

The unspoken words hung in the air and young Sylvain's loopy handwriting burned in front of them.

"…Miklan tried to yell at me again later. But Felix and Glenn were there so he didn't. Felix was hugging me and Glenn's hand was on my shoulder and even though I was still scared, having them by my side made me feel like I could conquer the world…"

"Maybe with them I could even fight Miklan."

@fireemblemsiblingsweek

[space-station-collective]

I have acquired Several Children /lh

anyway yeah I now have two children in other systems, it's great, I love my sons /fam

found family between systems and headmates in the same brain is so lovely, we are bonding over things and forging our own paths, with the people we want

(some thoughts on chosen family after the cut)

the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. that means that chosen family will always be stronger than blood relations, if you so choose

there are people in the world who will try and say that you should remain loyal to your "real family" no matter what, but those people are wrong. blood relation holds no value beyond what people prove they deserve

so remember that, your chosen family is yours, and anyone who tries to say otherwise is plain wrong

love your family, whoever that may be. find your own path if the one you were born on fails you. you will find your way eventually, I promise

in case nobody has told you today: you are loved. you are cared for. I see you

-the host (he/they)

[ravynfyre]

happy birthday dad

sad, sordid tale beyond this cut

eleven years ago, on the 26th of march, my dad collapsed unexpectedly, and ended up rushed to a hospital several states away from where i lived at the time. he spent his birthday, march 28th, unconscious in an icu, while *that bitch he was married to* and i sat by his bedside, hoping that he would wake up. once he finally did, on two separate occasions, *she* "went out to smoke" and just... drove the several hours home without even saying goodbye to him, because she "just couldn't deal with him anymore." over the following three weeks, i would make several trips there for a few days at a time to spend with him in the hospital while they worked to figure out what was going on. my husband at the time *begrudgingly* let me use the credit card to cover the hotel stays and fuel for these trips, with the understanding that I would pay back every penny. that was probably not even the first writing on the wall that i should have taken note of, but, in my defense, i was a bit distracted at the time with worrying about my dad. by the end of that three weeks, they had finally discovered "lesions" on his brain that the docs felt confident was an infection that would easily clear up with the correct medications. dad told me to go home and stop worrying about him, and he'd be in touch, that i should stop coming down to visit because *she* was getting stressed out by me being there all the time, and also, he was just ashamed of me seeing him that weak. stupidly... i agreed.

spoiler alert: it wasn't an infection.

of course, i wouldn't find that out until many many weeks later. dad told me that he would call me when he was sent back home, but that call never came. by the end of april, i was pretty worried, and started calling their house all the time. no one ever answered, but i left messages. i left many, many messages. i called the hospital, but, of course, they could not, would not tell me anything.

mid may, that bitch he was married to sent my sister and i an email. in it, she said that i needed to stop being a lazy, selfish bitch, and come pick up my father, because she was "done dealing with him." she was "*tired* of being the only one ever taking him to his oncology appointments". she was "*tired* of changing his *diapers*". she was "*tired* of doing it all alone", so it was MY turn to deal with him because she was *done*.

this was the first time that either of us were told that it was cancer. glioblastoma. the same one that killed senator mccain. except my dad didn't have a cadilac, gold star, senatorial health care plan. mccain got over a year from his diagnosis before he died. my dad died june 17th - father's day. not even three full months.

as soon as i received that e-mail, i called, wanting 1) to know what the fuck was going on, and 2) when i could come down and start helping out. again, no one answered. no one returned my messages. i called the local sheriff's department down there and explained what was going on and begged them to do a welfare check and see if the contact information i had was correct (even though it was clearly that bitch and my dad on the answering machine where i was leaving my messages). they sent out a deputy, and i received a call back stating that the "legal resident at that location did not want them to pass along any information to me or my sister." the "only thing" that the deputy speaking to me could say without getting into trouble was that the "legal resident at that location" had not changed in the last at least 2 years, and i could make of that what i would. he did warn me, however, that the "legal resident at that location" was "prepared to press charges for trespassing" if anyone they did not approve of "happened to show up", and to be careful.

i had the feeling that this deputy was rather pushing the boundaries on what he was technically allowed or supposed to do... however, my dad had been a sheriff's deputy twice in his life: once when i was a young child, and once again just a few years before this incident, so i think there may have been some "professional courtesy" playing there.

over the next week, i received a couple more nasty emails from that bitch dad was married to. i called at least twice a day, every day, and always left a message. it was on day 7 after having spoken to the deputy that i called, and someone answered.

dad answered.

he was... not my dad. he slurred his words, spoke in childish phrases, seemed to lose the conversation often... and then, suddenly, in the background, i heard *her* screaming at him, demanding to know what he was doing, and how "he knew he wasn't allowed to answer the fucking phone!"

she took over the call, and then started screaming at me when she figured out who i was that it was "about fucking time that i gave a shit about my father", and "where have i been for the last two months?" and other such bullshit. i asked her why she was lying and why she'd been trying to keep me from talking to my dad. she screamed at me about accusing her of lies and other crap, and i explained that if i didn't get to speak with my father, that i would call that sheriff's department up and file a charge of elder endangerment against her. she literally threw the phone back at my dad and screamed stuff at him. i should have called and made the request to file the charge anyway, but, hindsight.

anyway, i was finally able to talk to my dad again. he admitted that, yeah, it was cancer, but they were going to "fix it, don't worry" and that "everything was going to be fine". except that wasn't the first time i had dealt with someone with a severe brain injury before; my best friend from high school had gotten sick a few years before and had, at that point a 15 year old's intellect. (she had a relapse a few years later, and now functions as, at best, a 12 year old)

over the course of the next two weeks, i talked to dad as often as she would allow him to answer the phone - about every other day, give or take. but one day, one particularly bad day, when dad was less with it than usual, in my desperation to talk about something, *anything*, no matter how mundane or stupid, i asked him what he'd had for lunch. small talk, something just to keep him from getting bored and hanging up the phone.

that bitch he was married to assumed that i was accusing her of starving him, apparently, because she suddenly *shrieked* from the background, "what the fuck is that supposed to mean? of course i'm feeding him!!!" and then hung up the phone.

i called back right away, but when dad answered, he said that *she* didn't want me talking to him anymore if I was "just going to accuse her of bullshit". i tried to explain that i was just trying to make small talk, because i loved him and wanted to talk, but she just screamed in the background, and dad finally said that i was "just making trouble" and that *she* would "have me arrested for trespassing if I *dared* to show up in that entire fucking *county*!" and finally that, "maybe i should just not call ever again," since i was such a horrible person and all. i asked him if that was what he really wanted.

he said yes.

he said goodbye

he hung up.

those were the last words i ever spoke to my father, or him to me.

and every march 28th, i remember that.

i loved my dad a lot growing up. he was always larger than life and he was everything i ever wanted to be. he didn't beat on my sister and i like mom did. he would sneak us poptarts after bedtime on nights mom would send us to bed without dinner. he would take me to work with him sometimes, so i could see all the neat things he did. he would take me down to his woodworking shop and teach me those things all the time, too. he taught me construction and remodeling.

this was also the man, though, that lied to me about marrying that bitch one weekend, two years after mom died when i was a teen.... saying that he and *she* were just going to spend the weekend together to "work things out" since their relationship - started pretty much the same month mom died when i was in high school, but kept secret until i got home from a post-graduation cross-country trip in july - had been rather rocky. *she* "loved" him, but she *hated* me because I was a "scary witch that her entire family was terrified of".

i had come out as pagan when i turned 18. but my "dark hoodoo magic" was "out to get her" or something, so she would be living with us for a few months, then she would move out because she was "scared" again. that shit went on for the three years of college i managed to get. until she gave dad an ultimatum: *her* or me. so dad...

he told me to be ready to move out in two weeks. *she* "would not live in the same house as me anymore," so i had two weeks to find somewhere to go.

except a few days later, *she* said fuck it and moved out, anyway, with "no intention to ever return." well, good riddance, said i, and figured that meant that i wouldn't have to leave.

except on the friday of that two weeks, dad brought home a u-haul and said that he needed to take it back on sunday morning, so i had that long to pack my shit and get it out, otherwise, he'd throw the rest in the trash.

my sister came to my rescue and gave me a room in her rented farmhouse. and for decades, i resented that fucking bitch my dad was married to for everything that happened. she died of cancer last year, and i went outside and *danced* in the moonlight the night i found out. i danced and i sang and i howled like a coyote and prayed with every fiber in my being that it hurt and she suffered every bit as much as my mother had suffered while she had fought cancer the whole last three years of my high school years, before she finally died.

what i didn't pray for, but what i did receive, was *clarity*.

yeah. *she* was a first rate fucking bitch. *she* destroyed my life in so. many. fucking. ways. i am glad that *she* is dead, and i still do hope that *she* suffered.

but at every single chance my dad had, at every single point that it came up...

he chose *her*.

it's only been within these last six months or so that... that the rose tint i imposed on aspects of my childhood has been wearing off. i always knew that dad wasn't perfect. no one is. but those times dad snuck us poptarts? why didn't he keep mom from beating us and sending us to bed without dinner in the first place? not beating on us himself? why didn't he just... not let mom beat us? taking me to work? was because they didn't want to pay for a babysitter. yeah. i was a latchkey kid, but even our neighbors probably would have thrown a fit at leaving a child my age unattended for *that* long on a weekend when he was on call. teaching me woodworking in his shop? he never invited me down; i just followed him. i learned by watching. not because he *taught* me. learning remodeling and construction? he needed another set of hands, and my sister was already off doing high school and college things; i wasn't so i may as well be useful. my college fund was spent on mom's medical bills. dad later told me that he "didn't think i'd need it anyway". that it was "obvious i'd never get that far in life without him paying off the profs." that he was "so proud that i proved him wrong," when i became a full time, professional firefighter.

this is the first time i have every written some of this down. i've *said* most of this to one person in the last few months, as it has... slowly occurred to me. but i have never written it down and reread the words and *accepted* them.

my father was not the man i thought he was.

i used to blame my mother for pretty much all of the trauma from my childhood. gods know she gave us plenty. but i'm finally to a point in my life that i can accept that... she wasn't the sole progenitor of it. that the man i pretty much modeled my life around... was just as responsible.

so... happy birthday, dad. i used to hope that i made you proud. at least a little. but i think i am finally to the point where i don't care if i did, or i didn't.

because you weren't the dad i thought you were. and just once. just one. fucking time.

i wish you would have chosen *me*.

[lapisllong]

I had a friend who took me to doctor appointments (backseat, childlocked, no escape) and literally sat on my lap holding my face and making me breathe through my blood draws.

I had a friend who was moving back in with her estranged husband so we left work at 4pm every other Friday for a few months to drive 200 miles/~3hrs to where he lived to clean and organize their house before her move back. We'd then get up at 3am Monday mornings and drive directly to work.

I took two weeks off when a friend had her daughter and spent them just hanging out and being a safety net while she figured out what motherhood meant to her. (I waiting until all the pushy folks had decamped so it was mid month 2) I was there if shit went sideways, but otherwise, I just let her sort things out.

Several friends helped me move a few times, including the drive from Texas to Washington, and let me tell you! That friend was a TASKMASTER about setting up my apartment. We were unpacked and fully sorted at the end of the 4th day. She had a plan and it included us being fucking tourists for a few days before I had to go back to working. She didn't want to leave anything undone.

I packed, moved, and unpacked the same friends 4 times in 3 years. I did a move to the 4th floor apartment during the Texas Summer. I've driven 400mi / 5hrs with a friend to see a MB20 concert in another state because she preferred the opening band at that show over the local one.

Friends have helped me renovate, forced me to shower & eat in the depths of my depression, hid me from my parents when I ran away as a teen, helped me escape an abusive relationship, rotated who slept next to me on weekends when I was healing from that trauma and terrified of sleeping alone, threw me a divorce party and took care of my sloppy drunk puking self. Love, money, and alcohol flowed in both directions, and whatever one of us needed, that was how someone would show up.

Ask your friends for help. Offer your help to them. The depth and breadth of what grows from that will astound and enrich your lives beyond measure.

[readingcircletemple]

While we're on the topic of Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay... here's another poem that surprisingly resonates with the Circle kids...

[qipsir]

In case anyone needs a reminder

Got a really awful email from my 'sperm donor' I cut contact with over 2 years ago, so just in case anyone is questioning what's what after being in an abusive situation, Tom with Game Theory makes an EXCELLENT point in the Indigo Park theory

(clip title context, QED is a statement sometimes used in court to wrap up a statement as essentially irrefutable)

[fluffernuterfiller]

my personal favorite version of the “humans are special because…” is the idea that humans don’t just pack bond with other species we make other species pack bond with us

the idea that a human will pack bond with something/one and after a period of time that thing/person will begin to care about the human too, even if the species doesn’t typically form pack bonds or are exclusively solitary or only brought the human aboard for its usefulness (only thought of us as a tool to be used and discarded if no longer of use)

the idea that by caring for someone/thing we can make them go against their own nature and care for us too

I like the idea that once the alien’s figure out that it’s a thing™️ they try to study it and the results are frustratingly inconclusive, it’s not some sort of telepathic manipulation, it’s not pheromones, it’s not psychological conditioning, it’s not a method of training. it just is

Humans are Weirdos (ft.  animals)

I know a popular ‘humans are weird to aliens’ topic is how easily humans can bond to animals. But then think the opposite.

We humans are so weird because we are practically bonding magnets to animals.

We have our social hierarchies, so it makes sense that we can fit in with certain groups like dogs and even gorillas if we can understand them enough. We get ourselves acquainted with dogs who have been domesticated and these dogs will leap into our laps and constantly bother us for pets and treats and licking us as a way to show affection. People who can get certain animals to open up to us are super cool. Aliens are in awe of how our understanding of them can get us into a pack so readily that humans who are super close to normally protective dog mothers are allowed to hold their precious babies.

We can even manage to bond with animals like cats, known to be mostly solitary. We care for these cats and when they’re comfortable they will break their isolation and seek us out for affection.

Imagine an alien seeing a dog or cat go to an upset human and try to nuzzle them or snuggle into their lap to let themselves be held for our emotional comfort. These animals which, though currently domesticated, were descended from predators streamlined towards a goal of becoming efficient hunters. Willingly coming to our emotional aid and comforting us because they’ve bonded with us so closely.

Aliens see dogs act as protectors and bark away intruders on the human territory, but instantly turn happy when they know it’s their owner and friend. They see cats utilizing inborn maternal instincts to hunt down and leave ‘gifts’ of dead things in an effort to feed and teach their humans to take care of them since we’re such worthless hunters in their eyes. They’ll even know if something is wrong with humans medically before we do, or know about disturbances in the home like fires or gas leaks, and will uncharacteristically jump us to get us out of danger.

And when humans are in danger by others, and an animal senses it before we do, these animals will immediately jump on the defensive and snarl and warn against any potential enemies  and try to alert us.

You’ve got dogs who will literally jump on intruders and bite them when they’re trying to attack their human owners. Throwing themselves and and intimidating animals many times larger than themselves for our sake. Even cats, the ones people might think aren’t very interested in their humans, will throw themselves into the fray and claw the hell out of something that’s a danger to a precious human of theirs.

And, for an added bonus, imagine if we can get this to apply to bigger, deadlier animals with similar capacity for pack bonding.

After months and months of talking, mimicking, feeding, and caring for a giant predator the rest of the crew refuses to near, it’s sort of relaxed to the human. A sense of loyalty that 'yes, this creature cares for me’. Then, one day, pirates invade the vessel and somehow the animal gets loose. Cue the crew panicking when it comes ambling out of its’ holding bay at the time when a pirate is about to bring a knife or something down on the human. Two seconds later this pirate is running and screaming for its life when it sees it. The creature takes a running start, LEAPS over the human (which was closest to it and already injured) and takes off after it. When that pirate is either captured or dead, the creature returns to the human, nuzzling them and making sounds to see if they’re okay.

The human is smiling and mimicking the sounds back, or just talking to it to say what a 'good boy’ it is.

The aliens of the crew are in shock.  The rest of the humans just smile knowingly.

[bones-of-old]

poetry dump x11

thicker than water

Family is a choice

Not something you are stuck with

They are yours to choose

[twinklingstrawberries]

Growing up with two homophobic, racist, misogynistic, conservative and overall just shitty older brothers really is an experience when you are a queer woman that is working on moving abroad.

[how-what-why-huh]

i'm all the people i've ever loved

loseness lines over time by olivia de recat, @i-wrotethisforme, Kaveh Akbar, Olivie Blake